Two Years Too Long

My White Coat Ceremony on 7/29/2023.

Taken by Loyola Stritch School of Medicine's Photographers

Let's start two years ago...

March 22, 2022

And I think that you’d agree, a lot of life to see, 

A lot of mountains fall before they find the sea 

And if the season questions whether life you need

                                             Each day’s a second, and it’s about to breathe 

From Time of Your Life - DAN ft. Alex Hwang (Run River North)

There's something about these lyrics that resonated with me. Maybe it's because I feel there's always something happening in life. Or maybe it's a simple reminder to breathe. 

I do find myself wondering how our experiences help us gain some perspective, as duly noted in the mini-series Strangers Never Again directed by Wong Fu Productions. I also wonder how these perspectives and experiences help us handle weird situations that we find ourselves in.  

To provide a little context before I delve deeper into my train of thought, I want to share a personal situation that spans almost a year. 

I entered a lawsuit...and I was the one who filed it.

What happened in a nutshell is I bought a used car from a used car dealership, and there were problems with the car and how the dealership handled some of these problems. After I shared my concerns with a dear friend of mine, they advised me to bring my car to a third-party mechanic for an inspection.

I have only shared my situation with a few of my close friends, church, family, and my coworkers. 

September 8-10, 2023

But now, I guess I'm ready to share more about it and other things with the world as I sit in Chicagoland, thinking about how much has happened since I first wrote this little blog post. I admit I honestly want to forget about this little blog, thinking no one would really read it or that the things I write are a bit too personal to share and I want more time to process them. My blog posts are often a way for me to reflect on what has happened, but I still imagine the day in which someone reads them and potentially uses them as a weapon against me. I mean, everything says on the internet forever. Even so, I want to share my voice and reclaim some of the experiences I shared, which is an idea that Michelle Obama shared in her book Becoming. More importantly, I want to grow from my experiences to have a better understanding of the beautiful world we live in and of myself too. (One could say my school's emphasis on reflection has rubbed me off, hahaha). It is also why I want to share my white coat ceremony picture before I continue my previously mentioned story. 

Back to where I left off a year and a half ago, I took my car to a lovely third-party mechanic who told me that my car's catalytic converter was damaged to my disbelief. What likely happened was that someone stole half of the catalytic converter, and the previous car owner took this car to a shop. Someone in this "shop" used half of a random catalytic converter from Canada and bolted it to the car with wires. Honestly, it is better to share about it through a picture shown here. 

Damaged Catalytic Converter. 

Sad photo taken by Deborah Chen

It was then I contacted the Bureau of Automotive Repairs (BAR) under CA's Department of Consumer Repairs in July 2021. The two people whom I worked with are truly incredible, lovely people who spent countless hours investigating and advocating for me as well as the lovely 3rd party mechanic. Still, I need to fork over $2,500 (which was how much I earned in a month from my job at the time pre-taxed) to have my car's catalytic converter replaced with the proper one, so I can still go to work to help patients and pay my rent. From August 2021 to October 2021, the BAR representatives talked to the used car dealership. They discovered two violations in which the dealership did not inspect the car before selling it to me and the dealership's mechanic did not fully disclose the issue with the catalytic converter when I took my car for a maintenance check at the dealership after I bought the car. Moreover, the dealership only stated to the BAR representatives that the dealership would take back my car for free, meaning they would get a repaired, functional car to sell for a higher price and I would have no car.

Yeah, that's not happening. 

Meanwhile, I was preparing to take the MCAT in September 2021, and I had to handle a family health emergency the week before my exam. I'm thankful to God for His support and that I got a decent MCAT score despite 3 weeks of cramming. I mean, after all, I'm at medical school now. However, at this point in time... I never really talked about what happened afterward.

After I received the phone call from the BAR representatives who told me that the dealership was not willing to financially compensate me, I went to my friend's house to hang out. While I was eating dinner with my friends and their parents, I told everyone what had happened regarding my car. After I finished sharing my story, I then clearly said out loud, "I have to sue them [the dealership]." Everyone at the dinner table was quite alarmed and tried to dissuade me. I started getting a painful headache and excused myself to the bathroom...but I didn't make it to the bathroom. Instead, I had a full-blown panic attack as I leaned against the hallway wall and then on the floor. My arms and legs felt numbed and tingly as I gasped for breath because my asthma was then triggered. I never wanted to experience that ever again as my friends and their parents quickly rushed over to help me. Even so, I know I will experience one again, but I know I'm not alone. 

In October-December 2021, I filed a small claims case to the dealership's agent of service (someone who is designed to receive court paperwork and represents the business or person of interest) after talking with my friends, church, and a process server (a hired professional server who delivers the small claim case paperwork to the agent of service. In other words, servers serve the agent of service. Fun legal jargon). Never had I imagined I would sue a business at the age of 22. I knew I wanted to get this legal case done early within the statute of limitations ( 4 years for this kind of contract for this specific county), so I could focus on getting into medical school without this case dragging on. Every time I visited the court, I had to take paid time off from work and drive two hours away to where the court proceedings would be held to submit the paperwork or prepare for court. Every time I called the BAR representatives or anything related to my car during my lunch break at work, I ended up crying and feeling overwhelmed. My colleagues, my friends, my family, everyone...grew worried for my well-being. I knew this case was affecting me, but I felt I needed to push on to prevent the dealership from pulling the same violations on other customers like me. So I pushed on.

Unfortunately, I pushed on too much and hurt someone close to me. The sad thing when one has a court case is that many resources are pulled in. Money, time, energy, and most of all: people's support. One of my dear friends supported me so so much from the beginning, and I kept asking for more from them in my desperation. After they wanted a break from me, it was then I realized...that no one court case is worth hurting someone. It was a wake-up call. At that moment, I honestly thought of calling the case off after they told me how they felt, but I knew I could not give up after losing so much.

In February 2021, my father, pastor, friend, and the two BAR representatives were with me in court...and I was the first to go. It is really odd to see my name on the courthouse's first-floor TV monitors with all the court cases going on that day. I never imagined seeing my full name vs. the dealership in tiny, white text. Even so, we all went up the elevator to the prospective courthouse. I had two binders full of evidence from car documentation, pictures, and more. I also brought my laptop of video clips from my car's dash cam to attest to some of the points I made. For example, the car made a very loud noise when I was driving before I had the catalytic converter repaired. I shared this evidence with the defendant, who was a manager aka someone higher up in the dealership. He shared with the judge and me that he was not informed of this case until two days before the court date and if the dealership did anything wrong to a customer, they would make amends.....

Hmm...

Oddly enough, in his copy of the documentation, there was an internal paper stating that my car had an "after-market catalytic converter" on the day I brought my car for a maintenance check, yet I was never informed of this information that day as proven the documentation they provided to the customer aka me. While I gave my story of what happened to the judge, I felt nervous and definitely talked quickly and forgot to state "Your Honor" once too many times. Apparently, I provided too much info than needed according to the judge, but better be more prepared than none. The judge also confirmed that there was no arbitration in the used car contract. If there was one, I would first have to go to the used car dealership's version of a legal court system before filing a small claims case, which would likely not be in my favor.

After I spoke, one of the two BAR representatives spoke on my behalf, and then later my dad. For any witnesses, they are told to wait outside the courthouse until they are called in. The only one who did not have to wait was my pastor who watched and prayed for me throughout the whole ordeal. As for the plaintiff (aka me) and the defendant, they cannot talk to each other in the courtroom and can only talk to the judge or through a translator.

When it came to the defendant's turn, I do not recall too much other than a couple of things he stated: 

• The defendant was only informed of this case two days ago
• The plaintiff (me) was asking for too much money
• My car's current market value was around $5k at the time (as he showed documentation of the Prius's current price without any markups)
• The sales representative who offered the car to me is one of the best employees they have
• No comment. 

These statements were in response to when the judge asked him the following:

• Why did no one at the dealership offer a proper resolution to the plaintiff?
• How could this contract and service (or lack of proper service) be offered especially when "it's illegal"? 
• [I admit I was pretty happy when the judge said those two words to the defendant]
• What would the dealership do if they received a car that needs repair? 
• Defendant: "I'm not sure what you mean, Your Honor."
• Would the dealership fork up the cost to repair a used car? 
• Defendant: "No comment" 
• Could you please repeat that again for me?
• Defendant: "No comment, Your Honor."

Believe me when I said I was in more disbelief of what the defendant said that his main concern was finance when a couple minutes ago he stated he would like to make amends if they did anything wrong to a customer. Yeah...only if you're court-ordered. 

After our judge heard our case, we waited a month to hear back on the results. It was quite awkward to wave the defendant and his colleague goodbye as my dad, my friend, my pastor, and I walked out of the courthouse. On the way home, I treated my dad and friend to In & Out as a treat, and we discussed how the overall case felt. I was not done yet with the case. One of my lawyer friends recommended I email the defendant to settle (the defendant and plaintiff agreed on a financial compensation or written agreement before the judge officially delivered the results of the small claims case). So I did email the defendant, who conveniently did not provide any email on the dealership's website, but I already figured out that the dealership used a first and last name @ something for all of their employees. 

Silence, just like when I asked for compensation before I served them the case via a process server. At least I received my binder full of documentation after the judge finished reviewing them, which apparently cost the courthouse $11 for the postage.

A month later, the letter from the judge came. 

I won.

I didn't receive all the money I wanted to ask for, but it was still a hefty portion along with the legal fees including the fee to submit the small court case and the fee to hire the process server. I quickly emailed the defendant that I won and would like my paycheck. Lo and behold, he emailed in a few hours with documentation that he sent out the check. I then signed some paperwork and I later received my check a few days later. I was happy to deposit the check through my bank app and wasn't surprised the bank took a while to verify the check. After all, it is not often a 22-year-old gets a court-issued check from a car dealership.

But overall, it was a victory. One that I definitely wrote in my secondaries for medical schools haha. My friends, my church, my colleagues, my family, and more all rejoiced that it was over and it was in my favor. I didn't know that some of my friends shared about me and my legal case, and I was still ripped off from this deal. The weird thing was that while it was over, I still felt overwhelmed and stressed. I don't cry about it at all today as I still do whenever I recall the time I had to walk to a hotel, find housing twice, and get threats from my unpleasant ex-landlord and colleagues in Dec 2021 and Jan 2022. Yes, I still refer to my car as my lawsuit car, my dumb Prius, or Jade. However, my performance at work and outlook only life...still were not as great as I wanted them to be. I knew it was time for the next steps of my career.

So... I happily quit my job in May 2022 and did my Master of Public Health (MPH) at UC Davis from July 2022 to June 2023. I also was a bridesmaid for one of my college friend's wedding. I also applied for medical school from June 2022 to January 2023.

BEST DECISIONS I EVER MADE AFTER GRADUATING UNDERGRAD

Okay, maybe not applying to a lot of medical schools because it cost dried up my work savings, but I was pretty happy during my MPH. It was honestly a time of peace, exploration, fun, and relationship-building with what I love and with the people I love. Just ask me, and I would go on and on about how much I enjoyed it. I finally got to live a normal apartment life with fantastic, lovely women. Only once was there an indoor smoking case in an on-campus apartment, which was cracked hard by a lot of people. I got to meet so many lovely professors, classmates, and students who wanted to learn and have fun despite the obstacles we all faced. I got to make an impact on my students as a chill TA. I did not have professors or classmates giving me discriminatory or discouraging remarks about my ethnicity or religion like I had experienced in my undergrad. I honestly wondered if I should have done my undergrad at UCD, but I was also happy with some of the friends and professors I know and the learning opportunities I had in my undergrad. Moreover, I was making more money without being so stressed. I actually had health, vision, and dental insurance. I could get my asthma medications for a cheap price of $5, not $250-500. (I don't have this insurance anymore sadly after I graduated haha). I had control of my schedule, so for the first time, I had opportunities to do fun things. 

I got to go to my first concert, which was Big Time Rush (BTR) with Spencer Sutherland. I later went to see MAX with my close friends from my MPH to celebrate my birthday. My roommate, TA, and I saw Yo-Yo Ma, Emmanuel Ax, and Leonidas Kavakos perform at the Mondavi Center under a student discount. My roommate and I later saw the Curtis Symphony performed for free. I got to visit my friend's Sikh parade in Yuba City and had delicious food. I visited Sutter Fort to revisit my old 4th-grade field trip memories and walked around the state capitol. I still wanted to visit the inside of the capitol. My friends and I had weekly to monthly dinner dates. We even went ax throwing after our stats final, because we wanted to get our frustration from that final out in a healthy fun way. Karaoke, KBBQ, bounce houses, late night R and SAS coding sessions, practicum cramming, boba hangouts, spicy chicken dinners/lunches, walks along the arboretum, hiking with my roommates, seeing snow on the mountains, biking in the rain (ok, it was not as fun walking into class with wet pants and shoes), chilling with our MPH coordinator in the MPH office, fun pop-up Saturday flee markets, horseback riding, wheel-throwing, black and white film photography, glass making, hot pot nights, shadowing at the UCD Health center, chilling at my pastor's house with the Intervarsity Grad Studies group...Honestly, I really loved my time there. It was also nice to be awarded by the faculty for my "Excellence in Public Health Sciences." I definitely did not expect that hehe. Meanwhile, I was preparing to go to Chicago for medical school and kiss goodbye to my waitlist position at UCSD (because it was clear that I was not getting off that waitlist once it was June 1, 2023, the final day to confirm one's enrollment to medical schools). I got to present my practicum on telehealth in UCD Health's pediatric ward and other Northern California hospitals. I was so happy to see my pastor and his family visiting from Taiwan after I saw them off back in 2021.

There are more fun pictures here taken by Dr. Brad Pollock from our graduation ceremony. He takes good pictures!!

 https://bradpollock.smugmug.com/Miscellaneous/UC-Davis-MPH-Graduation-2023/n-xRM5H8/

Me! Photo taken by Dr. Brad Pollock

Me again from the side.
Photo taken by Dr. Jeffrey Hoch.

It was very peaceful. I was not afraid of being robbed at gunpoint as someone was in front of my old apartment where my undergrad was. I was not worried about having a break-in as I had experienced. Nonetheless, what happened in April to two dear community members and one injured one...definitely took a hit on everyone. To see one of my dear students in tears...to see the fear among my classmates, peers, and roommates. It's odd that I was not as scared as I had been in my undergrad, but it was even more devastating to see how there were so many missed opportunities to prevent the deaths of these two beloved individuals. It took me back to the grief and anger one of my dear college friends had felt when his dentist was shot and killed in Oakland in July 2022...and to watch the video clip of how her life was taken away. I can never forget her screams. My friends' grief. The fear my Asian American church felt when one of our members was attacked that same day my friend's dentist was killed in the same city. My student's tears as one of her friends whom she grew up with did not get to graduate with her because his life was taken. I also lost an elementary school friend this January. I remembered listening to BTR songs in her car...

So when I graduated, I definitely had a lot of feelings. Excited, Sad, Content, Scared. Many more fun memories during my first trip to Asia in which my friends and I went to Japan. SO FUN! Many more when I caught a bad flu and had to miss out on my dear friends' wedding and hanging out with my church. NOT FUN! I regret I couldn't really have closure before I flew off to Chicago in July to move into my new apartment. I admit I was not feeling excited to start medical school because I was so homesick and sick from my lingering 3 to 4 weeks of flu. It was my first time living outside of my home state, so I definitely felt out of place. When I first came to my new bedroom, my dear friend who lived in Chicago gave me some of his things. When I looked through a box, I found a box of uncooked shrimp chips and recognized it from my hometown's grocery store...and I just broke down and cried. I actually cried a lot the first month because I carried a lot of mixed feelings and frustration about getting sick and other things in my mind.

Luckily, little by little I stepped out of my comfort zone to accustom to the area and my school. I'm grateful to my new landlord, roommate, neighbors, friends, professors, classmates, and chaplains for welcoming and supporting me. From going on a retreat for the first-year medical students aka M1s to going on little outings, I was slowly opening up more. The tears are still there but my confidence is coming back. I'm excited that I went on a camping trip, saw BTR (definitely thought of my late friend), MAX, JAX, Ed Sheeran, Khalid, and Cat Burns; went on an architecture boat tour with a great friend, ate at Szechuan Bistro in Chinatown with another great friend, and much more to come. I'm excited to see Twoset Violin, Hasan Minaj, Owl City, and maybe if I'm really lucky Taylor Swift next year (but her tickets are $1.2k-2k for Indianapolis so...not likely haha). I got to practice suturing and using wire, catheter, and sheath in a vascular surgery simulation device. I'm also excited to volunteer with Medical Chinese, teach Medical Spanish for beginners, shadow doctors, play guitar, sing, find a church and Christian fellowship community, and so much more. Throughout all of these things, God is still here and present with me. I honestly haven't been focusing on Him a lot, but looking back on the last two years...He is still a wonderful God who loves me dearly. I hope to serve Him well throughout my time here and to where He calls me to be.

Therefore to wrap up this long two-year update, I will conclude with the next verses of one of my favorite rap songs that I began with.

I’m exactly where I need to be, 

Every single hand on the clock was feeding me

Every single hit I took was healing me, 

Found there was  purpose in the defeat of me

From Time of Your Life - DAN ft. Alex Hwang (Run River North)

P.S. I will be happy to rap this song for you haha.