The Room Between Life and Death

 The Room Between Life and Death

“I'm scared.

Why does my knee hurt?”

Tears flow down his cheeks

Dripping and staring at the eyes of his EM physician

“You were dead and brought back to life,” she explained

Stunning disbelief filled his weary eyes

The thought he almost died again crushed him

As scarring remnants of his piercing knife wound - to his heart - glistened maliciously

This time the culprit was unknown opioids given to him

The silent killer almost struck again

I stood in the room 

The room between life and death 

In one room someone codes and passes away

In one room someone's life is saved

Its walls soak in the untold memories and feelings of passersby

And remained unchanged and apathetic

It soon dawned upon me that this room among many others

Are my silent, observing teachers to the fragility of life and death

The ICU revealed another room where death awaited a comatose patient

Her husband slumped in the corner and prayed she would recover

He wanted her back home away from this cold, colorless room

But sadly he accepted he would be alone in its shadows

Stoically, he masked his grief when he greeted the chaplain and me

Until a gentle hug from me chipped his shield

His makeshift dam broke suddenly

Out came his tears, his cries, his pain 

Echoing in the room and out to the hospital floor

Gripping my white coat and my small shoulders

Trembling, searching for answers and comfort

I cannot help but cry and wonder

How can medicine bring healing to something inevitable?

After all, death awaits for us all

Yet in resistance to death stands life

Little and grand joyful moments of resilient life

A playful fist bump for the patient who lives again

Ending with a triumphant firework as we awaited his discharge

A delicate drawing of an ephemeral butterfly

Stenciled with the name of his beloved wife and his own as an outlasting tribute

I do not know what my journey in medicine will be like

What I know is that it will be a fulfilling one

An evergoing balance between life and death

Until I join my room prepared by my Maker for the life to come