Two Months and Then I Graduate

Wow, I graduate in less than two months and will be leaving my high school.
And I did not edited the following pictures. :P

Echeveria Peacockii

I have to admit my brain is still in the "Why am I stuck at school?" phrase while another part of it is in" I just wanna hang out with my friends and family with no work. Summer. Come to me. NOW!" For all you graduating senioristis -infected students, you know what I am talking about.

Dew covered Canlendula

However, we know there will be the goodbye approaching. Sometimes I had felt the goodbye as a bit melodramatic or understated because when I have visited my alumni friends, they seemed a-okay. Seemed.

Why did I emphasized that word? Because I felt that even when two months are going to slip past by, we all are holding secrets and unspoken feelings from each other, and sometimes a few of those secrets need to be said aloud in order to have closure. But since we are procrastinators ( I recommend reading Why Procrastinators Procrastinate or watching the TED talk Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator), we often delay it by saying, "Next time. "

But when is next time? No one knows because there is much uncertainty up ahead. And most of the times, it is the uncertainty that drives us insane. Yes, we can ask our parents, teachers, older friends and more for advice, but their advice can only go so far if we haven't experienced it yet.

For instance, recently I have been getting out advice on how to approach a girl to a good friend of mine. Even though I was questioning why in the world guys at this young age would panic on talking another fellow human being, I do understand that it is scary to talk to someone who you want to leave a good impression on. After a long Facebook chat with my friend, I realized how the key of having a close relationship with any person whether it be family, friend or boyfriend/girlfriend, starts by showing how you care for each other.

I shall repeat those words in case you didn't catch that.

STARTING RIGHT NOW, SHOW HOW YOU CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER!!!!

It's so important, yet most people underestimate it because it seemed so simple. (Just like procrastinating. Muahahaha). Not only you make the person feel special, but also you strengthen your relationship with them. And even when there is uncertainty up ahead, you be confident that the memories and the feelings you two have would continue on.

My shadow after a hail storm. :D
"Here comes the song"-the Beatles

Okay, I shall continue editing my UC San Diego wait listed essay. Wish me luck!

Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you.

I shall do a little tribute for something that deserves special attention.

       Today, while I merely watching episode 14 in Clannad, an anime I had started during Spring Break, Ichinose Kotomi (一ノ瀬 ことみ), one of the characters, repeated the enigmatic phrase to  Okazaki Tomoya (岡崎 朋也), the protagonist.

Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you.

         At first, her words struck me as odd yet soothing. I pondered what she had meant until I realized how close her words were to her when she disclosed her hidden memories. After I rewatched the scene in Clannad, I repeated those words and let them rolled off my tongue as if it was a lullaby. The words seemed to fly out of a book, and in fact, it did.

         After I quickly researched the phrase in InfiniteZenith's article, CLANNAD- Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you, it reappeared along with the title, The Dandelion Girl by Robert F. Young. It is a short science-fiction story written about the rediscovery of love found between the 42 year old Mark Randolph and the dandelion girl. As I read the story, I was enthralled by the story as I pictured the two, feeling anxious and longing for each other, despite the seemingly impenetrable time gap. (Read the story to know what I actually meant). 

        Throughout The Dandelion Girl, her words murmured again and again, as if her essence was captured in them. Those intimate words that were only reserved for the one person reminded me of Dos Palabras by Isabel Allende. (If you want to read the English version, click here).Throughout this short story, Belisa's words for the Colonel revealed how transforming and everlasting love and words were. Already at the budding age of (nah that I won't disclosed ;), I have already my secret repertoire of dos palabras tucked in my heart from those who I could not possibly forget. And now, I have a new one. Because I want to capture a deeper sense of these words, I closed my eyes and dreamed how I would reacted if I have seen a rabbit, a deer, and then the one. 

         Tears flowed down my cheeks while I opened my eyes. I wiped away my tears, chiding myself how young and inexperienced I was to think that I have honestly encountered what love was really like. Yet, I could not shake off the dear memories I had when I love someone dear to me. I already have them safely stored in my memories, but I was devastated to realize that we had felt towards each other did not last as long as I had hoped.

         Hope. My memory started to tingle as I began to recall the words that leave me feeling calm and a bit sad. Whenever I started to feel overwhelmed, they somehow return to my mind and repeat again and again until I realized what I had been almost forgotten.


加油! (Keep going!) -My grandmother who passed away.

Have Faith, Miss Chen. -My 10th grade math teacher.
Don't worry. In a few hours, the sun will come out. -one of my friends
You're a blessing to me. I'm lucky to have you.

I took a deep breath and smiled at my fond memories. I then reflected on how no matter how drastic things can be, I still have my family, dear friends, loved ones, and, of course, God. As I thought about them, I cannot give up. I have been given the chance a to grow and learn everyday, and I should not be stuck in the past. Even though it is painful to move on, I know that if I keep working and waiting, there will better things to come. Besides, there are still beautiful things in the worlds.

 A quote from Clannad.

            "The world is beautiful. Even when they are filled with sadness and tears, open your eyes. Do what you wish to do. Become what you want to be. Don't rush, and take your time in becoming an adult."

Free free to listen to "Roaring Tides II" song from Clannad. It's really moving.