A Car, An Apartment, A COVID Vaccine Shot

My work picture! Taken by Jenny Nguyen

For over an year, my alarm clock has been set to start my day at 7am (if I chose to wake up that early hehe). Wake up for my 8am statistics lectures in the beginning of Spring 2020 semester. Wake up to study for midterms in the quiet mornings when I moved back home in April 2020. Wake up for my online commencement in May 2020. Wake up to ride the bus for my first full time job as a medical assistant. Wake up in a hotel room, waiting for my COVID test results after I was forcefully relocated in fear of having COVID. Wake up in a new apartment in Berkeley after I moved twice, because my previous roommates were afraid that I as a medical assistant will spread COVID to them even though I tested negative and obtained the vaccine. Wake up to drive my first used car to work and later to get my Moderna vaccine shot. 

Wake up...because I am learning how precious time is. This thought popped up when I stumbled upon a prompt from NPR (National Public Radio), which asked how our relationship with time has changed during the pandemic. I muzzled on this question and reflected on how has changed within one year. 

One year ago, I was having a blast in my last spring semester. I was hanging out with my friends, classmates, professors, church, and more through spontaneous movie nights, spicy noodle challenges, dinner nights, hiking trips, and the best of all: late night talks. I never realized I took for granted the ability to physically meet people. When my university notified everyone that all activities were online, time became distorted while I interacted with my peers who are constrained into tiny, digital boxes on Zoom. My 7am alarm clock quickly became a reminder of what my old routine was like before the pandemic, and a part of me did not want to accept the reality we were living in. After watching my college's online commencement, I felt my time in undergrad was cut short as if we were on a very long spring break instead of capping it off with a celebration full of tears of joy and warm embraces from my friends, family and professors. Time later on became divided into large blocks at my new full time job. I wish someone told me adulting was this difficult. It is a struggle to wake up in the mornings and stay awake from 6:30 am to 11:30 PM without caffeine. By December 2020, I pretty much settled in my new post undergrad life. However, I have this superstition that my life is too peaceful, something bad would happen.

And...

Sadly the superstition still holds up. I want to shake off this negative view I have and share my story with a clear mind, hence why it took me a month or two to feel comfortable sharing about what has happened to me. I have hinted at this earlier, but yes I did came into contact with someone who tested positive for COVID-19 before Christmas 2020. Thank God my test came out negative at the time, but it was not an easy ordeal to go through. Telling everyone including my coworkers, landlords, housemates, family, friends, church and more about this news is not a fun thing to share. While I understand that everyone is afraid and concern for their health as well as the health of those who interacted with them, I wish there were more words and actions of kindness instead of fear. 

From the moment I received the news that a friend I have seen recently had tested positive for COVID-19 to the moment I received the negative test results has not been fun. Because I work in a medical office that serves predominantly senior citizens, I was afraid I was possibly link to many people's illness and deaths including our beloved patients and colleagues. The fear greatly left me sleepless. It was the first time I cried for hours, from 10pm-4am. I slept/fainted around 4am-6am then cried more 6am-10am. I started quarantining myself in my single room in a house of four people (two landlords, housemate and me) and wore my N95 mask when I left my room and used the bathroom. I checked my phone and answered texts and emails to update everyone I came into physical contact. Some harsh words were delivered to me from a few people whom I told the news, especially when they were visiting friends, family and loved ones during the holiday season. Some kind words reassured me momentarily before the fear overtook me again. 

I admit my faith was really small, smaller than a mustard seed. Even now, I feel ashamed of not having much faith in my situation and not checking in my friend who tested positive. After my landlord took me to get the drive through COVID test, I felt it was the last time I would ride in their car. I was right. Later that day, my friend who tested positive for COVID and I remotely watched a Christmas movie called It's a Wonderful Life the night after the news. I finally felt a sense of peace again. I slept for 10 hours...only to wake up the next morning to be informed that I have to move out by 4pm, 5pm according to my landlords because I cannot fully quarantine myself from everyone in the house I lived in. They said they had given the same instruction to the other housemate (who has a car, I don't have a car). Then they offered to drive me to the hotel or Bart station around my departure time. My heart sunk and I really wished I signed a physical lease with the landlord when I heard this plead, since I knew this request was not allowed legally. Yet, I felt so drained and distraught that I complied with it, especially when I internalized that I was a liability, a threat, a burden. I shared this news with my friends and colleagues who all said this request is not allowed under California's tenant laws... but I felt so powerless. With the help of a friend, I found a local hotel and I packed what I could carry...since I had a sinking feeling I would have not have a ride judging on the odd request from my landlord. When I finished packing, I was told 15 minutes before 5pm via text that my landlords could not drive me and requested me to order a Lyft/Uber instead. I laughed in my head while I read the Lyft/Uber policies that I should not order a ride if I believe I tested positive for COVID-19. I texted back to one of the landlords that I can't order a ride and that my only option is to walk 1 hour at dark to the hotel.

Did anyone stop me? No. Was I in the right mind? No. 

I picked up my backpack, 2 bags of luggage and a plastic bag of chicken noodle soup and walked for one hour from Richmond, CA to Pinole, CA from 5pm-6pm. The moment I walked away from the house, I felt angry and really hoped someone would stop me, but I knew no one would. Only one of the landlord knew about that I was walking while everyone else assumed I got a car ride or something. While I was walking towards the hotel, I debated if I would be better off sleeping in a local park with cats or at an abandoned building. I had to remind myself that I already booked a hotel room, so I have to get to the hotel no matter what. I noticed immediately that many drivers, including a bus driver from the C3 Costa Community WestCat, all stopped and stared at me in shock while I crossed the main streets. People who are waiting at the bus stops did the same thing. After all, it is not normal to see a women with luggage walking at night. Did I mentioned that at a highway intersection, I had to wait for all the cars to make their right turns, leaving me the choice to run across the highway intersection in the dark? Of course, I ran out of time when I was halfway across the intersection when the ongoing traffic light turned green, but no one moved their car since I bet the drivers all thought who's this crazy person? 

Even so, I knew God is protecting me throughout this ordeal. I'm thankful that no one ran over me with their cars and trucks nor was I mugged or worse. I am also thankful for being greeted kindly by a nice gentleman who is facing homelessness during my walk. Even without explanation, I felt understood by him and was comforted by him. Ha, I did not realized I could have been this close to not having a home.  

When I arrived at the hotel check in window, I just cried and felt overwhelmed. I checked into my hotel room and felt paranoid that the hotel room may have SARS-COVID-2 lingering in the air. I just simply sat on a table for an hour, then disinfected the room for an hour, then took a shower, then ate a can of chicken noodle soup since it was all I can bring with me on my walk, then video called my friends while I frantically checked for my COVID test results. I reserved this hotel room from December 21 to 24 in case the COVID test results comes out late...or worse. The next three days was a period of waiting, painful waiting yet hopeful waiting. My church later found out about my situation, and they prayed for me and provided me dinner the next day. My high school friends also got me snacks and water while I slept, watched Natsume Yujin-Cho, video called friends, ate dinner and snacks, drew and read the bible. It was strange to attend my high school friend's engagement announcement call while I sat in the hotel, thinking when is my COVID test result coming out. I also checked in my housemate to see how he was doing, but I was surprised he was still living in the house and going to work as if nothing has happened. Something felt wrong, since it seemed like he was not order to move to another location to quarantine like me, even though we shared the same bathroom and are equally exposed. He also did not know that I walked over to the hotel and empathized with me. I did not tell my family about my situation, because I already made them so worried about the COVID test. When I got finally got the negative COVID test result on Dec 23 evening, I cried tears of joy and relief while I shared the news with everyone. I thought I could go back to my original housing situation and go back to normal...

Remember I wrote earlier that I booked the hotel room to Dec 24 in case something worse has happen? 

Well, in hindsight I should have chose my words with more consideration. I texted one of the landlords, who is aware I walked to the hotel, if I can return to the house...but I heard no reply for a couple of minutes, which seemed really odd to me. I then called and asked if it was possible to be compensated for the hotel expenses and for a ride. Granted, I should have not said this...since they lashed out at me for asking such a request and other things. I just simply listened as they said they were afraid of someone in their house getting from COVID. However, the lashing got worse when they said I should pay for their sick leave cost of $6000k if they got sick (even they worked from home while I work minimum wage as an in-person medical assistant), that my family is not responsible of me, that I have to stay at the hotel and cool our heads etc. I apologized for upsetting them, but it was already too late.

After they hung up on me, I called my father and told my family the truth while I looked at sublets in Berkeley. My family confirmed with me that I have to move out, since it became clear I am not wanted at the house even when I tested negative for COVID and that it is illegal to temporarily evict a tenant due to a health issue and not another tenant with the same level of risk. My church also heard this news and graciously covered my hotel expenses as well supported me in finding a new place. My wonderful father, who works 24/7 as a self employer to support my family, reorganized his work schedule to drive an hour over to Pinole to pick me up on Dec 24. Funny in how I saw one of my patients at the hotel while I waited for my father. After my dad picked me up, he drove over my old place and explained I was moving out to both landlords and to do a prorated refund and deposit return. It became clear that the one who lashed out at me did not tell the other landlord the entire story including the part in which I walked to the hotel for an hour in the dark. I have to admit it was very satisfying to hear the other landlord said, "I see [Deborah]'s point" while the one who lashed at me let out a huge sigh of regret. After I said goodbye to everyone, I moved back home and celebrated my brother's birthday and Christmas while sleeping in another room to complete my quarantine. Still, I had a new dilemma, commuting from my hometown to Pinole, which is 1 hour one way. I only had one week of work off, and I spent it waiting for my COVID test result in an unideal manner. My dad decided it was time for me to get an used car, so we started car searching. Meanwhile I was frantically looking for a new place in Berkeley. Luckily, I only had to Lyft once to Pinole on Monday and then moved into a new apartment in Berkeley in an apartment the next day. Still it was not easy to inform my colleagues, but I really hope everyone had a better holiday week than me. When I moved in to the new place in Berkeley, I thought I finally settled in! 

ha.

nah.

Apparently, my roommates in the apartment were not aware I work as a medical assistant, even though I brought it up to the person in charge of the sublease. In short, I was asked to move out after I moved in for a week, but I got a full refund, so hey that's better than my last place. Luckily, I found another place for a cheaper cost, bigger space, and with my Christian fellowship friends. Plus I bought my first used car with my savings. While my dad drove the car for some repairs for two weeks, my lovely, kind coworkers drove me to work and back until my car was ready. I practiced driving around in my hometown, and I drove my car up to Berkeley. Frankly, I prefer to not drive in the rain and missed 2, 3 exits on the highway and almost get rear ended, but I will get better with practice.

Things have settled down for now...finally. 

I survived the first week of driving to work by myself. I started teaching a UCB class that I took as an undergrad with my colleagues. I got my first dose of the Moderna vaccine on Jan 25, 2021 and waiting for my second one on Feb 27, 2021. I'm getting along with my apartment mates, and I'll start preparing for the MCAT and med/pod school app process.

But honestly, it's all thanks to God helping me with this process. I know there is the saying that everything happens for a reason, but it makes me curious to know the reason is. What I do know, that I have much more room to grow in terms of my faith and my confidence in God as well investing in myself and my support system. I am indebted to everyone who has supported me through such a stressful time. And for those who had no idea what I was going through, I'm doing much better now. Of course, life has its way in making sure I'm on my tippy-toes, but it is nice to have a break from the chaos.

I just want to share my story with you all to remember to be kind and loving towards one and another, even yourself. I know this pandemic does not bring the best out of everyone, but it is a good reminder to continue on loving others and ourselves.