Summer Break at home and college

Hey guys!

I realize most of my blog is morphing into one that is emphasizing writing rather than photography. A few reasons why is mainly because I'm exploring the medium of writing out my thoughts and that I feel that my pictures show a part of the experiences I faced. After completing my English requirements this summer, I can say I am a bit wary of cramming two essays per week for six weeks online English class along with studying Organic Chem and a few extra things (like taking Environmental Writing class and ochem lab; and being part of the Daily Cal's photography team, Suitcase Clinic team, and the wonderful co-op team).

I admit that I did felt that I sacrificed a part of my summer break by not hanging out with friends back home, especially with those who are moving away to college (my little freshies). Whenever I do come back home, I feel like the time I spent at UCB was like a dream because I am used to seeing my home over the course of eleven years. When I do come back to my co-op (apartment), I feel as if that is my place to spend during the summer where I see the friends I have there.

Overall, I felt this summer is pretty eventful and unexpected in numerous ways. I did not expect organic chem to be hard......and that I be creamed by it while having a chill time with my TA and friend as we go over the material and research labs available in the chem sector in the university. (Just google and email the post-docs  for info). I expected to feel lonely especially when I overworked myself and isolate myself in the process, but I learned to not do that because time is precious with God and with family and friends. A friend from my bible study group talked to me about it, and I really appreciate his kind words when I was stressing out. My pastor from my new church (yes, I'm back in church :D ) also talked with me about family stuff, and it is amazing to hear how God helps him get through his troubles and to honor our parents too).

So this shall be a long diary, photo entry I would like to share about my summer break, depending on how well my memory is.


May 12- June 18

My sweet one month break from school. It wasn't really sweet when I had to move my stuff into my new co-op after one week later with a recurring thought in my head " I just got back home and I'm here again?" The room I was assigned to turns out the be the largest single ( I think) in the apartment, so I got really lucky. It's just I am very disorganized so it became messy once I step in with my stuff. But I got to meet really cool people there who later became really tight friends. The one time I came back to do work shift, I ran into a cool dude who watched me do my work shift of picking leaves off the ground with my hands ( I was desperate...I need a broom). He commented on that I did not need to be that through in my work, but I replied I need to be honest with my work hours. We clicked off well and the rest is history (with pillow throws, punching bags, late night walking for boba, and being goofy kids).
Back at home, I hang out with friends and helping my mom with her book Within the Veil and 31 Days of Prayer Journal. The work is daunting but fun, especially editing pictures. It's just that I wished I knew about UCB's adobe package or else I didn't have to work up to..you know....4am......but I love my mom.  I also visited MSJ to see my graduating friends and dear teachers and even saw a teacher riding my bike around the school. Sigh, you turn your back and you then see you teacher poppin a wheelie.

I admit a part of me felt nostalgic at my school, but I knew visiting it would help me move on and focus more on college itself. I did actually spoke in front of my classmates and teachers (and school administration) about suicide and how to deal with the competition in my school on May 16. Honestly, I did not really feel the competitive atmosphere except in my Honors Pre-calculus class in junior year, but it was interesting to talk about my personal experience about mental health especially how prevalent depression and suicide thoughts are. I have been struggling to talk about my story on it because I do not want my talk to be a "pity me pity me blah blah blah" because I'm done with self-pity (so tell me straight up if I'm doing so). I talked to my senior citizen friend and church friend about what key points I want to bring up about the topic and to get me over me crying about it because again I want no self-pity. Most importantly, I want the focus to on the students and those who are affected by mental health issues. One thing I learn at Cal is that it is important to be honest with yourself and others and to express out your emotions if you want to. Of course, that's hard to because that would be expressing your weakness but in reality it shows how human you are. The weirdest part of the talk was looking at my friends and teachers and thinking how much I changed and they changed and what they think of me and such. Out of the conversation, one of my friends asked me if I was okay (as expected) and I told her that I'm doing great, it's just that at that time in senior year I was not doing so hot and question why bother being alive (spoiler alert: the question pops up still but more as in " I would not be this happy if I was already gone; I want to avoid that circumstance from happening again and to help others to avoid it too, but how?") After the whole mental health talk, I was chowing down on beans and guacamole in the back and was surprised to have a picture taken by the school paper (and learned that the paper misspelled my name as Deborah Wu....(and later the Daily Cal in an email misspelled my name as Deborah Yang....gee) I guess after the talk my friends saw me differently as if they were afraid I would be gone by my own means, but I honestly do not have the desire to (especially when I still have my college education, family and friends connection, and desire to improve the environment burning in me). But my story did affected them, so I guess my talk went well.

As for the remaining parts of my one month summer break, it was mainly hanging out. I hang out with my friend and her boyfriend in our high school and visited an ice cream shop called Ice 3 Creamery and it's pretty nice.

Doodoo face taken by Amy Li

Sweet on the left and mocha on the right

Later on, I had my friend sleep over at my house and she's the first guest my family has ever since we moved in over ten years ago. It was nice to talk with her and have her tell me I'm like a sister to her as we played a game of telling each other compliments. (So many feelings :D ) She later invited one of our high school kouhai to bake oreo "cheese"cake and to cook pesto lasagna. I later did a photgraphy session with our kouhai and her friend and it's a blast. I never imagined having a three hour photo session and ten hour editing session would drain so much energy out of me. If you want to check it out, go to http://msjdeborahchen1.weebly.com/I have their permission to post their pictures so yay!

Twining Grace and Rosefina

Also I got play Hilter board game or something that requires lying between fascists and liberals.  Of course, I won after being played fascists twice in a row and using my school's rep and inability to lie well as a cover up. I did tried the Nintendo switch and I find it really tiny (which explains my incompetence of playing Mario Kart 8?)
I also got to hang out with my elementary school friends and their mother in a dinner, and it was nice to catch up with them and go shopping with them in an office supply store. Gotta stash up the school supplies.
But of course, where's the summer without boba? I spent time with my friend George who visited from Florida. We got to talk about God and personal questions we have, and it was nice to confide with each other and share our passion for God and photography. I was really excited to hear him to go back to community college and tried my best to comfort him in his fear of not doing well math, but I know he'll be fantastic in it! We took turns taking pictures around the store T4 and it was pretty fun to be goofy and professional in our pictures.

Fountain

Fountain dripping water

George

With a week left before I go to school on June 19, I spent time with my dear close high school friends. I haven't seen one of them since December, so I admit I was nervous to see him again in person on his birthday with my other friend, but it was nice. It really was nice to see him and how the tension in the past fades away by his smile and warm greeting. My other friend and I got creamed by him in an impromptu game of Cantan Seafare Expansion, but it was really nice especially when his mom served Macha ice cream from Trader Joe's. (I learned there's a Trade Joe's in Berkeley. I need to find the ice cream!!! but I should not eat ice cream if I'm trying to be a vegan).

June 19-August 12

Oh boy....There's a lot of things that can happened in less than three months.

Well first off......
Independence again baby.


Nah, organic chemistry (lecture and lab), online English class, Suitcase Clinic volunteer work, Daily Cal photography, and environmental writing class all pile in hahahahaha along with workshift (and yes I just repeated the list earlier above expect that I have more pictures of the suffering....I mean joy and fun...I actually joy and fun including with the school work).

But overall, Responsibility is what I learned and time management too.
But let's start!

Firsts:

• Skateboarding and felling down 3x, but I got my balance and pumping alright. It's just that I don't know how to get off the skateboarding in a safe manner.
• Cooking dinner consistently with potatoes, onions, garlic, pepper, soy sauce, curry, water, carrots, basil leaves, and more 
• Sleepover in my apartment
• Playing Super Smash Bros on a Wii U
• Seeing fireworks up close
• Attending a concert of Asian Youth Orchestra
• Spending personal time with my TA on organic chem problems outside of class
• Washing other people's feet and having them wash mine as a thank-you gift (soooooooo humble)
• Walking Downtown Berkeley at night and seeing the different stores around
• Regularly attending Office hours with my professors
• Eating at the Berkeley restaurants (yes...my first time since I have no meal points anymore)
• Being the youngest in the whole apartment
• Biking everywhere (literally everywhere)
• Using Adobe products from my computer with UCB's creative cloud access
• Listening to loud music from friends around me every week (sigh boys)

My view everyday right before I go to Chem class

View of the International House from the Stadium

Me studying taken by Y

Let's learn Ochem in Pimental

Yep, that's the taste of my first month of summer school. Ochem from 9:30-11am M-Th, Ochem lab 1-4pm Tu and Thurs, and more classes in between. You should seen people's expression when I say I was taking five classes hehehe (they question how I was alive which is something I heard about in high school when I had four AP courses and a community college calculus course). But there's the fun behind the scenes.

I started going back to church. After a long hiatus of 8 years of not going to church regularly, I found a church I really like called Christian Layman church in Oakland. It's a warm, inviting community and I really enjoy the friends I made there and the friends I know.
 It's definitely worth waking up early in the morning for!

Pastor Andrew!

Dim Sum dishes with CLC church friends

 Meanwhile in the place I live, I made new friends there and we made a lot of new memories there like baking cookies, late night talks about life, cleaning, and studying. A little glimpse of what I have seen and experience because here's the part where my pictures expresses my journey and where I collapse from exhaustion.

Ethan from shopping at Safeway
and I accidentally deleted a picture that wasn't saved so the photoshop one is to make up for it.

Pajama Sam on Fourth of July

Vegan brownies made with Sam and me

Fourth of July lights on the Berkeley hills

Tree on my street

Campanella

Wonderful braid done by Y and taken by Y in our lab class

Taken by Priyanka 

My friends had a sleepover at my place so we went out shopping and the downtown scenery there. It was pretty interesting to find the brick wall (and run away from it when people started smoking in the alley way....sigh)

My mural

Yes a cat and a dog playing with a clock, which I took down to paint. :)

I need no words to explain what is happening here
(because I don't know what's happening here)

Summer house friends

August 12-22

My sweet one week break at home.

Santa Cruz :D

My dad tried to touch the seagull.....

Seal

Lone boat in the sea

Playful Seals

Santa Cruz view of the sea

UC Santa Cruz tree
I never imagined the school to be literally located in a forest

Innocent

"Deborah, you're so innocent."

....

What in the world does the word innocent means?

Innocent:
n.
1.A person, especially a child, who is free of guilt and sin [uh, we have sin except Jesus so not it]
2.A simple, unsophisticated, guileless, inexperienced person [ gee, that sounds a bit like me]
3. A very young child [Well, I'm legally an adult, so no]
4.A person with little experience in the world, especially in sexual, evil and unpleasant manners [ok Urban dictionary definition, Lo entiendo]

........

Yep, back to square one.

But by all means, this comment has popped up several times, mainly from my times at high school rather than my one semester at UC Berkeley. (Irony) Honestly, I felt that no one can be called innocent because to be innocent means to have no sin, which only fits one person: Jesus Christ. Of course, I knew that was not the comment most people were referring to. I thought the comment stemmed off my dislike for not cursing, talking about sexual jokes and refraining from pleasurable activities that made me uncomfortable in a moral and health conscious standpoint. At first, I felt the comment "You're so innocent" was proof that there was a barrier between the people I meet and know, so I thought about tearing it down. That went down a path I regret taking, mainly because I realize that the people labeling me as innocent were the ones that I should not impress because they did not care about me. I should not impress anyone nor change for anyone who deems me worthy based on what I do.

Reasons why I choose to not curse is because the words I say reflect my heart. I do say negative things, but I don't want to go down a deep path of self pity and bitterness that drives the ones who do care about me away. I admit I do curse from time to time, but I feel it's because I get easily influence by my environment. Sigh, the UCB Meme page is not the way to go.
As for the sexual jokes or weed jokes, there's more to life than making remarks on being high or having a hookup. I did not know about the terminology surrounding the hookup culture until I realize the people around me were part of it. "I just want to eat you, "He's so hot," I want to swing from her chest."-Just stop. Please just stop because this kind of comments are feeding back into treating people as objects for appetite. Besides, no one always knows that there be a person hurt by sexual assault.

"They're trying to see if they can break your innocence."a friend told me
Sigh, I feel I want to break away from this world into one where everyone is valued. Longing for heaven.

Not a College Freshie anymore

I have not written in a while in my blog. Most of the times I would scribble something down of some time relevant news, but after the election, new year eve and spring break is over....some of the things I scribble down becomes a bit off in terms of the current news.

I already finished my last day of instruction last Friday. A few hours before was the famous SIR deadline (and the day I submitted my appeal essay to UC Berkeley as did a few of my friends). I passed a few important dates to me last year that were mostly painful, since senior year of high school was painful in some ways. One of them was April 17, the day I really wanted to not exist anymore and every time I think about why I did not want to exist, what drove me to that level of desperation, I often find myself with conflicting answers ultimately agreeing that I am glad I am here today instead of having everything stop. I do not have those thoughts anymore at Berkeley. The stress levels here is much better than I what I faced back at high school, mainly because my schedule is light compared to most students. I also love the freedom and independence here: I can do whatever I want without supervision like hang out with friends at a boba place without worrying about making in time for curfew or hanging out with church friends up to midnight. It does not mean I'm partying (I have no party skills whatever) or acting careless on the streets. It means I'm becoming more independent. Oddly, the thought of why I don't want to exist pops up from time to time. Maybe I am afraid circumstances would drive me to the same brink again and I want a solid reason on why I need to continue.

Coming here at Berkeley, I already established unbreakable reasons. There is so much beauty in life that I want to experience and cherish. I don't want to miss something wonderful when there is a chance I can overcome a situation. I don't want to see my friends and family in pain, and if they are in pain, I want to be there to help them out. Life is not always predictable. It does have heartbreaks, family conflicts, uncertain futures, but there is more to life than pain. I would ask God why did this happen, and sometimes I would get answers overtime, though I admit the answers I have may not be completed. Maybe I experience that pain to help someone else get through theirs or convince them to avoid making a decision that would hurt them even more. Maybe I experience that pain as a build of character for the harsher times. Maybe the pain is unavoidable because we live in a broken world of sin, and Jesus went through the most pain experience in the world by bearing all our sin on Him so that we could have a life without pain after we pass away in this world. Suffering is an experience everyone goes through, which makes it an universal emotion. The voice, "No understands me" could be a lie, especially when there are 7,8? billion people on earth who has a good chance they may have experience a similar situation you have-maybe exactly?

The main reason I want to write this out is because I am worried there people who had the same desire of thinking death as an escape, when it should be, Death be not proud. That is a poem by John Donnoe.
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery,
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Was it coincidental for a high school senior like me to be randomly picked for this poem to analyze? AP LIT! (Literature, not smoking. I cannot handle smoke at all with my asthma)

Ah, mission. Good and bad times. I actually signed up to speak at a mental health panel at my high school on May 16, and I honestly worried I potentially go on a rant or some random side topic about funny high school memories. Even though it seems most people do well in terms of academics at mission, I find people at Berkeley giving me a reaction implying "You been through a lot of competition" whenever I mentioned my hometown name, which then implies Mission. Yep, the work load and the obsession of grades and difficult classes are the trademarks of mission mentality. I recently caught up with a high school friend of mine who asked me, "Do you often hang out with Mission people around here?" I replied, "At first, I want to for a sense of familiarity on the campus, but recently I'm more focused on making more friends. It's still nice to see them and catch up with them like you." When I pondered more on his question, I felt there was a subliminal question asking me, "Are you moving  forward from high school?"

I want to say yes. Initially, I want the sense of familiarity and predictability high school has for comfort, but now I want the adventure and pleasant surprises college has. I guess I want to post up pictures showing how much fun I have that I thought I never got to experience before.

January
(I did not post this earlier...so....read it in terms of it's January)

The year of 2017, what lies in store for us, as a community, as a state, and as a nation?
For the nation, we have the inauguration coming up, and I hope a lot of people would be watching and intervening the things coming ahead in the next four years (what a way to spend my undergrad).

Even though the election's result revealed how polarized America is, some comforting words my history teacher offered would be that acknowledge the differences but move past them by channeling your emotions and ideas in a more meaningful way by volunteering and/or leading a community group or organization that overall benefits people who need aid. Another way is to tell your representatives in Congress, State Congress, city council, school council, parents, anyone your concerns on any situation that may negatively affect your community or offer suggestions. I emailed my City Council about the highway traffic on I-680 affecting the city, which is a top priority of my city and they told me about the metering lights they are planning to use in mid-December. Usually this information is hard to tell to the public when there are thousands of residents with their own businesses to do.

this post is not here to just tell you about how to get involve politically.

Lately, 2016 has been getting the bad reputation that it's a pretty bad year. I won't list the events why ( or else we be here crying/ debating whether or not it was bad).

But there is always there the positive side, even if it's hard to find.

I guess I share a few before 2017 starts in a few hours, including New Years resolution that famously rarely comes true.

Good things:
Closer friendships with people who I care about and cares about me. I learned what is consent, trust, and honesty in a painful way, but I am happy to be where I am now with family and friends.
Biking, walking more~experiencing more of my hometown and interests (especially anime and music)

...yeah, I don't really know what my resolutions were besides the generic kinds.

Yep, my first protest that I accidentally walked into because I was following a friend of my roommates.
I still do not support that figurehead in the current administration.
Environment rules!

 February

I am tiny. Taken by Y and her hair..Good friends

Gracie and her son Jeremy who went missing at March 17, 2017 Friday. This is the last picture I took him......I'm still praying he comes back home.

Out night strolling in a mall

"Be Kind to Yourself" :D good thing to hear after my calculus midterm.

March

Christina my baby cat (named after Christina Grimmie, who passed away on June 10,2016)

Fogged up the lens when I took this picture at a research camp during my first retreat

Snow, trees, amazing solo walk with God in the snow

Beach on the Bay with Klesis, one of my fellowship groups
Yes, I was splashed by the sea....it so cold and powerful

Campfire! So fun and so beautiful like the milkway stars.

w

Met Wesley Chan and Chris from Wong Fu Productions. So worth the trip!

South African (around Cape Town) collection at UC Botanical garden.Planning to work there in the summer if I can get a job.

April

I look so goofy.......but God and Science!

Friends on my first Cal Day

Goldman Environmental Prize Ceremony. Such amazing people!

Fancy food in the SF City hall

Lights are everywhere

Go Bears! (and Golden State Warriors!)

Diffraction of the headlights

Babies

Oak sapling

Fragrant roses

Overall, I want to keep on living because we never know what joy will come along.

December Shenagians

Hey guys!

Since 2017 is coming up, I want to give a little wrap up of what I experienced through in December. I honestly say the Ohlone college was pretty fun and relaxing, especially when I did not have to worry so much on classes. Instead I hung out with my friends, talk with my professors, and chill at the student lounge or the library. Of course, I be transferring over to UC Berkeley in January, so I want to share a few memories with you guys.

First off......never let a guy try out his ideas if it involves a waffle maker, cookie dough and fake cheese that never ever melts. 

Because one of my friends watched a Youtube video of whether or not things can be cooked with a waffle maker, he has been meaning to make one. We made the cookie dough and placed them in a waffle maker, but we were not sure how long the cookie dough should be cooked because the waffle maker could be turned over. After we gave an estimated time of cooking the cookie dough, we opened it to see a big mush of chocolate, nuts, and dough that did not stick together well. Later we tried to make a quesadilla, but the cheese could not melt at all, even when we microwaved it for 2 minutes. (We just stopped eating the cheese altogether....)

Back at home, my mom saw my two cats Jeremy and his mother Gracie sleeping in her room. I got my scarf that I knitted and placed it over them. It was just too cute.
~Look into their eyes~

Jeremy

Gracie

On a side note, I also finished my Illustrator drawing of Kanade Tachibana from Angel Beats. I started drawing it in 10/28/6 up to 12/14/16 mainly because I was drawing whenever I could each week, spanning from 30 minutes to one hour or more. Also I tried to recall famous lessons from the Samuel Sze back in 11th grade who taught me the basic functions of Illustrator. I think I got a firmer grip on it now. (It doesn't mean I don't want to take the Introduction to Photoshop and Illustrator decal class).

Buzzing buzzing bee in my front yard on a jade bush.

Also if you guys caught me visiting my old high school on December 22, I sneaked into the beloved garden to take some pics of the succulents there and the flowers. Telegraphic lens to the action!

Winding Down to Winter

Hi guys!

Since this is a photography blog, I shall balance out the writing with some photographs and a drawing I drew using Adobe Illustrator from my school along with photographs that I haven't share in a while. A lot has been going on lately, so I apologize for the delay.

Trigger warning: There are a lot of cat pictures. :D

Sleeping Jeremy

Curled up Jeremy

Rain droplets 

View of UCB from the Sather Tower

Penguins on a cake

It's good to be a penguin

Happy Birthday pic -taken by Lilian Guo on my DSLR camera

My Teddy Bear and Cat

Have some recycled tea

Fresh Tulips

Philosophical Journal 10/13

   Yes, I have not been writing about philosophy for a month of so. I shall pin the blame on English homework, psychology tests, U.S. history quizzes, photography work (paid and non paid), blah, blah, blah....

I got lazy.

    That simple. However, due to circumstances, my history class today was cancelled. At first, I worried about the reason it was cancelled but rejoiced in the realization that I do not have to spend five, six hours from 8 am to 2 pm going to school, attending school, and going back home. Ever since I finished the first day of class, I realized why going to school on a Saturday morning is not a wise choice.

     The irony of today was that I worked at a cake show (long story that I would not get into) from 9 am to 3 pm. At least, I earned money, admired pretty cakes, learned how to use PayPal on a tablet and a smartphone, and later embarrassed myself in an Italian restaurant. Apparently, licking a plate is not accepted in a formal restaurant neither is making failed origami creations using the black table cloths. Also since my family always take me to Asian restaurants, I yearned for chopsticks as I repeatedly stabbed my noodles with a fork because it does not pick up the penne ( Italian noodles..yes, I googled up the word). How do people use forks? Honestly, I do not care about eating according to social convention, since my family raised me to eat all of your food if you like it. I never learned about the proper to use spoons or forks, mostly because my kitchen has five spoons and no forks while amount of  there are ∞ chopsticks in the house.

I guess I'm writing this all out as a warm-up and to share this memorable day.

Rain, keep raining. I want to see lighting in the sky! (I'm currently listening to raindrops outside my home, so I'm not imagining things)

October 13, 2016 Thursday

As an overview, my philosophy teacher talked a variety of historical philosophy, ranging from Eastern Philosophy (Confucius 孔子, Buddha, Lao-zi 老子) to Western Philosophy (Pre-Socratic, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle). After our exam, we learned about Scholastic Philosophy with archetypes such as Saint Augustine, Saint Anselm, Rene Descartes, John Locke and George Berkeley. 

In terms of class material, my teacher Wayne went over empiricism, the belief that all knowledge is ultimately derived from sense experience and that all ideas can be traced to sense data. I felt empiricism is partially true because there is evidence that there are innate ideas and functions within us such as the function to breathe. In babies, no one taught them how to suckle for breast milk, yet they are able to with guidance from the mothers who bring their children close to them. However, innate ideas are mainly used for survival as we create our own ideas about the world through our senses and other people's ideas.

The archetype of empiricism is John Locke, nicknamed the father of empiricism, not the inventor. He claimed that all ideas came from sensation/reflection (the mind being aware of the environment) and abstraction (anyone's experiences), leaving no room of consideration for innate ideas. The idea of tabula rasa (blank, clean state) overall captures empiricism's theory that all ideas came from somewhere, similar to the corresponding theory of truth, which states that an idea is true if it can refer to things that actually exists. The rebuttal for this would be how we treat fictional characters as real life people such as Percy Jackson is the son of Poseidon and that he is dating Annabeth Chase (Yes, I'm a Percy Jackson fan!) and how we treat abstract concepts as reality like perfect circles. Personally, I felt the correspondence theory of truth is not applicable because people can perceive the same object under different facts. For example, light can be defined by scientists as an electromagnetic wave that has photons and be characterized by its duality, both a particle and both a wave. For others, light is the presence of God who opposes darkness. This example leads in the difference between direct and indirect realism.

Seeing the moon would be an example of direct realism because you are directly experiencing the light exactly the way it is, a bright little dot in black cloudy paper. Yeah, that ain't true. Indirect or representational realism states that what we experience through our senses is a representation of the external world, the world outside our minds. My teacher adamantly states, "This is one of the few times philosophy gets something absolutely correct." How so?

Let's say we see a cat, a cute fluffy cat sitting on a couch, sleeping all curled up. For nearsighted people who does not know there is a cat there may perceive the cat as a dog or a stuffed animal from afar. For those who know it is a cat may assume it is sleeping or licking itself. From merely seeing a cute cat, there are different interpretations. Another example I remembered back in 10th grade is when my English teacher taught my class about signifier and signified which was created by Ferdinand de SausssureI.

A signifier is a symbol of the object such as a drawing, word, stuffed animal or the origami tree.
A signified is the internal concept or idea that can vary between each perceiver. It can be the actual object or not.

For example, the word "tree" is a combination of the letters t, r and e, thus it is a signifier. It is not an actual tree, but the word represent the concept of a tree, which is the signified.

The flip side is the a signified can be a signifier, In the second example, the drawing of the tree has green and brown colors in some organized fashion, not the actual tree. Thus the drawing is a signifier. What it represents is the actual tree, which can be in different colors from the signified. A tree's bark does not necessarily have to be brown. It can be white like the birch tree.

Overall, signifier and signified  represents representational idealism because what we perceive of the same object is not necessarily the same. During class, I have this concept in the back of my head, yet I could not recall its name until I looked back in my English notes.

Moving on to the next philosopher is George Berkeley. When my teacher told everyone that Berkeley is supposed to be pronunciated as Bark-ke-li and not Berk-ke-li, my head was saying Bo-ke-li. I later put this on the UCB's Overheard group and someone commented it as Broccoli.

Yeah, I black out the faces and names so there would be no stalkers here. Besides, it's rude to do so without consent.

Anyway, his main idea was to counteract deism, the belief that God only created the universe and does not interfere with it, surmised by a famous quote by Elif Shafak,

“God is a meticulous clockmaker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.”

What Berkeley did to fight against deism is vouch for idealism, which states that only ideas (sensible experiences and thought) exits, rejecting the external physical world and accepting the mental things. He coined the phrase "Esse est percipi", which means "To be is to be perceived." For example, if I do not see the due date for the a homework assignment, then it does not exist! Sadly, that is not true, but to refute it is challenging.

Futhermore, sometimes it is not wise to trust on our senses portrayed by the McGurk effect, mirages and the shepard illusion. Funny story with the sound illusion. Because my parents got this new TV that allows you to have your computer, smartphone, tablet's videos on the TV, I pulled a prank on my parents by replacing their Korean drama with the auditory clip. I latter reassured them that it was me, not a hacker (but I admit I am a troller, hahahaha).

That's all I have for now. I think another reason I put off these post is because it takes me.....over five hours to write them out...
(ugh, I should not be an overachiever. I need to set low expectations).

Now............sleep.