The Room Between Life and Death
“I'm scared.
Why does my knee hurt?”
Tears flow down his cheeks
Dripping and staring at the eyes of his EM physician
“You were dead and brought back to life,” she explained
Stunning disbelief filled his weary eyes
The thought he almost died again crushed him
As scarring remnants of his piercing knife wound - to his heart - glistened maliciously
This time the culprit was unknown opioids given to him
The silent killer almost struck again
I stood in the room
The room between life and death
In one room someone codes and passes away
In one room someone's life is saved
Its walls soak in the untold memories and feelings of passersby
And remained unchanged and apathetic
It soon dawned upon me that this room among many others
Are my silent, observing teachers to the fragility of life and death
The ICU revealed another room where death awaited a comatose patient
Her husband slumped in the corner and prayed she would recover
He wanted her back home away from this cold, colorless room
But sadly he accepted he would be alone in its shadows
Stoically, he masked his grief when he greeted the chaplain and me
Until a gentle hug from me chipped his shield
His makeshift dam broke suddenly
Out came his tears, his cries, his pain
Echoing in the room and out to the hospital floor
Gripping my white coat and my small shoulders
Trembling, searching for answers and comfort
I cannot help but cry and wonder
How can medicine bring healing to something inevitable?
After all, death awaits for us all
Yet in resistance to death stands life
Little and grand joyful moments of resilient life
A playful fist bump for the patient who lives again
Ending with a triumphant firework as we awaited his discharge
A delicate drawing of an ephemeral butterfly
Stenciled with the name of his beloved wife and his own as an outlasting tribute
I do not know what my journey in medicine will be like
What I know is that it will be a fulfilling one
An evergoing balance between life and death
Until I join my room prepared by my Maker for the life to come
