For the rest of the semester? (March 13, 2020)
....
2 weeks later, I'm back home for spring break and still preparing back up classes for summer and potentially the fall semester if my summer classes once again goes up into the flames of unforeseen circumstances. My original plans for the semester were a). attend the remainder of my classes in person b). walk in May in my commencement with the class of 2020 and c). attend my summer abroad program in Taiwan. Alas, none of them are happening...and I think the worse part is not being able to say goodbye to people who may not return for personal reasons. I remembered when I first learned that classes will be online up to Spring break, I was a little relieved to catch some sleeping time and schoolwork after I pushed them off last week, which was the first week of March. That week ,before any news of online classes or any viral outbreaks, was rough after I realized that my summer abroad program can be canceled.
Monday, March 2nd:
I hastily meet up with my study abroad adviser to talk about my backup study abroad program, which is applying for Fall 2020 at National Taiwan University. I learned that I need to apply for the FASFA today since today was the deadline for FASFA in California. Meanwhile ,I rushed to finish my Gilman Scholarship essays for my summer abroad program, which was due tomorrow. I later skipped one of my classes to meet with the study abroad financial adviser about the fall program cost and then rushed to my major adviser to talk about my eligibility to do a fall program and moving my expected graduation date, which is possible since I'm a spring admit on my 7th semester and the College of Natural Resources guarantees me 8 semesters for my undergrad. I later called my dad for some tax information when I filled out the FASFA, explained why I need to make a backup, and how it is not my fault for expecting a pandemic to cancel my program and postponing my graduation. I also accidentally submitted my Gilman scholarship application empty-handed and emailed the organization to re-open my application...and I felt so sad that my dream to go to Taiwan was being crushed. I have no energy to go to my Christian fellowship meeting that night, since all I wanted to do was cry in my room.
Tuesday, March 3rd:
I woke up, thinking it's the due date for the scholarship and I was relieved to know my application was re-opened. I spent the next few hours drafting my essays in my room and in my ecological genetics class. I also went to submit my ballot for the primaries in one of the student dorms. I must have been so tired to almost out my ballot in the trash can next to the voting place signage, but luckily I looked instead to realize it was indeed a trash can. After waiting 30 minutes to see if I could get a presidential ballot without forfeiting my hometown ballot, I learned I cannot at all unless I am in my hometown, so I just submitted my ballot and bought lunch. I felt hopeful and relaxed to eat outside, and then I realized I forgot to do one of my homework assignments for my Art of Scientific Writing course that is due today...so I hastily did it in class and got the research book Waste by Kate O'Neil, who is my Global Theme Housing program professor back in my freshman year. I needed for my assignment. I felt sheepish of my half-finished outline for my midterm paper while my dear professor looked at my outline. I'm thankful he reassured me that it was good when deep down I felt that I disappointed him. Meanwhile, my classmates got news that Berkeley has a first confirmed case of the Coronavirus-2019. Everyone was scared that it was already on campus and glad we had no class on Thursday to support graduate students's wage increases in light of their living costs and tuition. Back in my co-op, I quickly typed up my Gilman scholarship essays and completed my Visual Communication and Design project. To see my work presented in design class later that night made me confirmed that it was a rush job but it was full of potential for me to work on a later day. After I got back from class at 7pm, I ate some dinner and have one of my dear friends helped me edited my scholarship essays. After I sent in my application, I felt relieved...but I knew I have to complete my Berkeley study abroad application for the fall semester and other scholarship essays for the fall, which I received tonight...and it's due on Thursday....Thank God my group project midterm for Principles of Drug Action was completed on Sunday since it was due on Wednesday.
Wednesday, March 4th:
After looking at the fall program's course list, I realized I need to have the courses approved by my college's adviser and let my major adviser know what I am planning, so I sent out an email to them at 1:30am. I then went to bed and woke up at 8am for my Public Health Biostatistics course... but I was too tired to go and instead waited to submit my online participation quiz. After going to another class, I later met up with the study abroad peer adviser about applying for the fall semester and then talked to a Peace Corp recruiter, since I'm interested in the program but unsure if I should join. When I got back home, I quickly wrote my essays for study abroad. After finishing them, I felt exhausted and realized I still have to redesign my design project and complete my essay outline...
Thursday, March 5th:
I submitted my two applications for the National Taiwan University's Fall program for my study abroad adviser and later met with my major adviser about what has happened. It was wonderful to talk with her and to confide in her my hectic week as well keeping on track to graduate. I later on met with my study abroad adviser who told me the potential costs of both programs and that by May 1st, I need to withdraw from the Fall program to avoid necessary and expensive costs. I was winding down and getting back to school work while the graduate student protest was going on that day. I later started on my scholarship essay for the UCEAP promise award and have my friends edited it as well.
Friday, March 6th:
I got an email that I'm accepted in the Fall Taiwan program! I got a verification email about my summer program and how I need to take the next pre-departure requirements. Things felt calmer. I enjoyed my tap dancing class even though I was confused on the steps. I later went to an orchestra concert with my dear friend and comforted him when the concert didn't meet his expectations. I randomly ran into a dear friend of mine who also was sad by the concert but happy to run into me. Overall it was fun and I wished to have more moments like these. If only I knew how fleeting it was going to be.
Monday, March 9th:
I woke up 5 minutes too late for my public health stats quiz. I was distraught and turned my attention to my design innovation guest speaker class. (If you have been keeping track, I'm in 7 classes this semester:D ) I was happy to submitted my UCEAP promise scholarship essay and to enjoy my Monday. I really related to the guest speaker from his time at UC Berkeley, post undergrad, grad school, and all these cool amazing things he had done. I also got to have a wonderful time with Christian fellowship as we discussed logistics coming up and share each other's personality types. Even so, we got an email that starting tomorrow up to Spring break, all classes except small person class sizes are online. In light of this news, I spent the night writing my midterm paper about electronic waste and thinking how I can sleep in.
Tuesday, March 10th:
Everyone was not as proactive during their first day on online classes. I'm definitely one of them. It was odd to have the whole day free up, so I decided to think about 3D printing, laser cutting, drawing, designing, sleeping in, cleaning my room and hanging out with friends. After all, I assumed this next two weeks will be the only time we have online classes, right? Plus the idea of sitting in front of a computer does not spark joy into me, since I enjoy going outside. I later hung out with my dear friend and tried out late night food at the dining commons for the first time. I never thought that it would be the last time I get to hang out with her this semester.
Friday, March 13th:
There is a news report that we have our 1st confirmed case of the virus in our student community. The panic is increased as the student was in a large student gathering. The idea of social distancing is heightened as my friends keep posting memes about the virus. After hearing about this news, I decided to go hang out with some friends that night and serendipitously helped another friend with her car. It was a fun spontaneous night where I got to watched Officespace and learn how to play guitar. I later learned that night the Jacobs Makerspace was closed up to Spring break, leaving me sad that I cannot continue 3D printing, which I did for the first time on March 11th.
The next few days I got lazy, but I continued practicing guitar and having my co-op friends teach me their tips. The days were fill with cooking, work, washing dishes and pots in my co-op and hanging out with friends for the last time. There were jokes on how the Zoom stocks will rise while the airplane stocks will plummet...which did happened.
Monday, March 16th:
I'm cleaning dishes while my co-op friend said classes are all online. I asked him that it has to be a joke, and when he showed me the email, I was devastated...There was also news of a lock down coming. I knew that people would be trying to move out of their apartment and dormitory quickly before it was too late to go back home. Commencement was also postponed, and it felt like we couldn't do anything other than practice public health guidelines of staying away from each other and being sanitary.
Thursday, March 19th:
I was on a Zoom lecture with my Art of Scientist Writing class when I learned that my summer abroad program was cancelled once Taiwan closed its borders to all international travel. I was heartbroken and cried from the news while my co-op friends, my professor and my classmates reassured me. I asked my biostats professor to move my midterm for biostats from tomorrow to April 1st, since there were two options. Either way, I felt I didn't know what to do other than sign up for summer classes.
Wednesday, March 25th:
I'm back home for spring break and told my family the plans I have. I already enrolled in summer classes, but there are also rumors that it may be cancelled or moved completely online. Some of the courses I signed up are in person labs, so I'm again skeptical if it will happened while a part of me remains hopeful and excited. I also contacted the study abroad program about the fall program and that there is a chance it could also be cancelled if this pandemic worsens. Also there is a chance that I could potentially have my degree in Spring 2021 if I go on this program.
I guess I'm trying to regain some routine and keeping myself busy and not glued to the computer screen. I already have some work piled up like my biostats midterm, midterm paper, tap dancing homework, posters and ecological genetics proposal due next week. I also started gardening and continuing drawing and reading a book called Braiding Sweetgrass.
I'm trying to pray more and read my Bible more, since I feel I'm once again slipping away. I am grateful to be home with my family, my cats, my friends, food and the California weather. I am grateful to have my Christian fellowship community and my church family as well. There is still a future to look forward in this crazy times, so I will continue to have hope and ground myself in you, God. I haven't really taken the time to set my thought down since I was so focused on the plans I have in mind and that losing them once again revealed my faith in you is still fragile instead of steadfast. Help us all in these times as well remind us to shine your light for others who need you as well.
In the meantime, enjoy an infographic I made.
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